Many of us chase after things to bring us joy, whether it is money, success, or things I hate to be the one to tell you but those things are all temporary. I was just like many others who though that in order for me to be happy I had to have all of the trappings of this life. I grew up dreaming of having a house with a white picket fence, a great career, 2 kids, a dog, and a perfect husband. I actually did obtain pretty much all of this at one point or another in my life but I realized that not the house, the job, my kids, nor my “perfect husband” really made me happy. In my pursuit of happiness I had lost a sense of who I was, I was mom, wife, mentor, friend, and worker but I didn’t know who I was outside of what I did for others. It took a major loss for me to realize that something was missing.
I had someone ask me to describe myself and tell them what I liked and I could only describe myself as a mother and wife and I had no clue what I liked. I realized that it was time for me to take inventory and figure out what had happened to ME. I admit that I did get pleasure out of knowing I was needed by others and that I was a person that people knew they could count on, but I realize that in my doing for others I had forgotten to do for ME. I had lost my desire to dream, I had lost my desire to do the things that once brought me joy. I realized that I had been so busy loving and taking care of everyone else that I had stopped loving and taking care of ME. I had been living in a culture where you were told that it was wrong for you to be ME focused and that you should be more concerned about giving to others. Now I think that you should give to others and help out when you can, BUT if you do not take the time for yourself, if you don’t take care of you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually then you will be no good to anyone.
I choose to take my life back. I choose to prioritize my life according to my values and my beliefs and not be concerned with what everyone else thought. My number one value is my family and I realized that I had allowed the needs of others outside of my family to occupy the majority of my mental and emotional space and time. My first step was to get rid of the “junk” in my life and this included my reevaluating relationships and any things that were time wasters. The second thing was learning to walk in who I was, not who others wanted me to be, but to truly embrace my own uniqueness and walk with confidence in who I am. I rediscovered my interest and began to pursue those things. Once I got free from my need to please others and I learned and accepted that it was okay for me to say “NO” I truly began to live life.
Today it is the simple things that give me joy like watching, and I mean literally sitting and watching my grandchildren play. Spending time and making memories with my family is my #1 priority. My husband (the 3rd time was the charm for me) and I are best friends and I love to just hang out with him at our favorite coffee shop and write or hanging out at the park and talking about our dreams for the future. Chatting with my best friends and sharing stories about our grandkids and the good old days. I am actively discovering everyday who I want to be when “I grow up”. I am evolving every day and enjoying this journey of life truly for the first time. I don’t need the big house, the fancy cars, or even tons of money to make me happy. My joy comes from within and having a true sense of who I am today.
#WeAllNeedSomeHelp 